I shook hands with an idea

Not literally, but literarily.

Dear Seekers is a newsletter and podcast by Sasha Xiao, for the curious souls seeking artistic and spiritual fulfilment. If you love it, please consider sharing it with others. Here’s my About page. Any questions or feedback, you can directly hit reply to this email.

Good morning (or whenever you’re reading this):

If you only have 10 seconds to read this letter, this is all you need to know: This Sunday, I’m launching a new series- The Write Way to Mother.

If you have more time to spare, let me walk you through the process and how this idea was conceived and manifested.

I recently listened to the audio book of Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear by Elizabeth Gilbert. Her argument about how ideas are conscious forms “driven by a single impulse: to be made manifest . . . through collaboration with a human partner” deeply resonated with me. It woke me up. This concept that “creative ideas” are just as alive in the universe and are constantly looking for collaboration with humans feels too “woo-woo” to be real yet too real to be “woo-woo”.

An idea came to me around this time last year which was interviewing artists who are mothers (or mother figures) to discuss and explore the intersection of the self and the selfless.

At first, The idea was a little vague. I wanted to call it Dear Mama (ugh. It made me cringe a little) to keep it under the Dear Seekers brand (oh gosh. Cringe a little more). Obviously, it didn’t feel right. I even went ahead and interviewed a few amazing mamas who had art practices.

But something was quite off.  I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was, so I let The idea go.

But The idea kept lingering. It didn’t want to leave. It would come to me when I was in showers, out for walks, or trying (very hard) to be present with my son. It kept whispering to my ears: Com’on, you know you want this. 

And I would ask myself (or The idea): When am I going to find the time to do it? Should this be a separate podcast? Should I start a brand new one? Would it still be relevant to the current listeners? 

The idea didn’t provide me with the answers I needed.

So I dropped it again.

Until… the film written and directed by Maggie Gyllenhaal The Lost Daughter came out this January, followed by a book recommendation of Nightbitch, and soon later, the release of one of the most anticipated debuts of 2022- The School for Good Mothers, it was apparent that The idea was now not only knocking on my door, but inviting itself in with full force, except it didn’t feel intrusive or scary. It felt right. 

To be fair, the exploration of how literature and motherhood intersect isn’t anything new or groundbreaking - it’s a theme that has been explored over and over again with layers and layers of nuances.

So, why me? Why now? What can I bring to the table that hasn’t been presented before?

My answer? I’m not so sure.

But what I do know is this: the urge to bring THIS idea alive is undeniably strong.

Whenever I’m in doubt, I often return to this letter written to Anges Demille by Martha Graham. This time, there is no exception.

And then one day, a name came to me: The Write Way to Mother. 

It not only felt incredibly right, but also a huge relief- like a big rock has been lifted from my shoulders.

I shook hands with The idea. We both nodded and eventually hugged with hearts beating in tandem. 

I know. A little dramatic, but truly, that’s how it felt.

This series is for everyone and anyone who is experiencing the push-and-pull of the self and the selfless, and the messy process of self preservation and self re-invention. It’s for writers and artists who happen to be mothers (or mother figures). It’s for people who use writing as a way to process life and trauma, to untangle thoughts and feelings, and frankly, to see where a pen or a typewriter will reveal to us if we just keep writing or typing away.

I hope you can join me to explore together. If you have any questions or feedback, you can leave a comment or directly reply to this email.

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